i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
