All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
