at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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