it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
