goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
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