In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
