Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
