I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
