I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
