You just made me feel so damn special
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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