your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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