He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
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At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
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You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
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