Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
