do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
