people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
