I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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