I'm sorry my penis didn't work
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize