I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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