I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
