if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
