Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
