Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
