Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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