And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
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