so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
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