My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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