Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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