One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
And then my night got REAL pukey
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
