You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
then he tried to convert me to islam
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
