hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
