question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
