Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
