Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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