Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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