some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
