Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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