ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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