3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
