pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
