We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
