Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
