I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize