Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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