Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
