Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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