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she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
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