...so i touched it.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
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come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
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we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni