So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
