He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
