just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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