Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I don't think brook has ever known best
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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