I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
