Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
