So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
