Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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