Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.

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  (214): just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that. http://tfl.nu/pf1d
  Replies (18) Good night (647) Bad night (4075)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?

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  (740): how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian? http://tfl.nu/pz5v
  Replies (94) Good night (4509) Bad night (1359)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.

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  (971): I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger. http://tfl.nu/97wz
  Replies (27) Good night (4142) Bad night (3715)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game

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  (401): You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game http://tfl.nu/zcqx
  Replies (3) Good night (2624) Bad night (819)
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  (779): View more from Illinois

  should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?

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  (779): should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark? http://tfl.nu/0hyg
  Replies (8) Good night (3585) Bad night (1247)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that

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  (505): Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that http://tfl.nu/xqbd
  Replies (15) Good night (1362) Bad night (2550)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.

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  (678): If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me. http://tfl.nu/3kcp
  Replies (5) Good night (1389) Bad night (1749)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved

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  (262): well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved http://tfl.nu/a9c7
  Replies (1) Good night (922) Bad night (1444)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?

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  (941): Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket? http://tfl.nu/fc98
  Replies (5) Good night (1184) Bad night (1209)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.

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  (512): Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom. http://tfl.nu/t8hh
  Replies (13) Good night (635) Bad night (2090)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.

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  (307): puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done. http://tfl.nu/58vm
  Replies (3) Good night (2231) Bad night (614)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.

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  (912): Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch. http://tfl.nu/z7wv
  Replies (7) Good night (3118) Bad night (670)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs

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  (707): I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs http://tfl.nu/07a7
  Replies (5) Good night (575) Bad night (1205)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.

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  (303): I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win. http://tfl.nu/uk9u
  Replies (10) Good night (2407) Bad night (511)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  I need vitamin water and Jesus :/

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  (309): I need vitamin water and Jesus :/ http://tfl.nu/afzj
  Replies (2) Good night (202) Bad night (106)

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