there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.