Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard http://tfl.nu/v78z
  Replies (30) Good night (4120) Bad night (823)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!? http://tfl.nu/rmce
  Replies (31) Good night (3037) Bad night (1368)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so http://tfl.nu/1jbm
  Replies (6) Good night (6964) Bad night (573)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change. http://tfl.nu/rlg4
  Replies (16) Good night (1864) Bad night (5779)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost. http://tfl.nu/27qj
  Replies (8) Good night (3331) Bad night (1062)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties. http://tfl.nu/z2k6
  Replies (8) Good night (2452) Bad night (993)
• Favorite

  (+91): View more from India

  I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+91): I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin. http://tfl.nu/d09o
  Replies (7) Good night (2819) Bad night (1234)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos? http://tfl.nu/uo60
  Replies (42) Good night (2829) Bad night (979)
• Favorite

  (+84): View more from

  The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+84): The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white http://tfl.nu/gomk
  Replies (8) Good night (2953) Bad night (608)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me.. http://tfl.nu/zeud
  Replies (1) Good night (1901) Bad night (617)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (225): Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds. http://tfl.nu/ti8j
  Replies (2) Good night (591) Bad night (1088)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.

  (404): View more from Georgia

  We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to. (404): We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit. http://tfl.nu/4kzw
  Replies (2) Good night (1205) Bad night (662)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay http://tfl.nu/bes3
  Replies (5) Good night (737) Bad night (303)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask. http://tfl.nu/cyae
  Replies (4) Good night (449) Bad night (270)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security! http://tfl.nu/7slr
  Replies (2) Good night (257) Bad night (735)

Randomize