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• (239): View more from Florida

  When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck

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• (415): View more from California

  apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window

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• (260): View more from Indiana

  THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL

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  25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right

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• (949): View more from California

  I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  "Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.

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• (518): View more from New York

  The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties

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• (408): View more from California

  I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.

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