I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
