D3 body, D1 cock
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
