hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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