Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
My breasts were aching with rage.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
