nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
