they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
