i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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