Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
