No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
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