no, he came in my armpit
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
